Stand Tall and Look Up

      Several weeks ago, as I ran on the treadmill, I listened to podcast by Neal A. Maxwell entitled "Meekly Drenched in Destiny." Elder Maxwell was a gifted orator and I found myself listening to his speech again and again over the next few days. Then I went to the computer and found a written copy and printed it so I could highlight my favorite parts. Now, this morning, I find myself wanting to share some of those highlights:        Meekness is an attribute that is essential to developing other crucial virtues such as faith, hope and charity. The Savior described himself as being "meek and lowly in heart."  Our Father in Heaven loves us enough to have made us free to learn, to choose and to experience. According to Maxwell, "Agency is essential to perfectibility, and meekness is essential to the wise use of agency - and to our recovery when we have misused our agency." I learned many years ago, that the sooner I can repent, the better off I am. When I

              I woke up earlier than normal this morning with worries on my mind. The house was quiet because it was only 5:00 a.m.  I lay on my pillow for a short time passing worries about in my mind like an unfriendly game of tennis. Then I chose to get up. I grabbed my phone where I frequently listen to podcasts and chose, for the third time, to a talk called "Meekly Drenched in Destiny" by Neal A. Maxwell ( http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=622 ) With my morning brain training in hand, I got onto the treadmill. It is amazing how quickly perspective can change when we fill our minds with hope and courage.           I walked and ran on the treadmill as the sun came up over the mountains and brought natural light into the room. Discouragement was replaced by perspective and feelings of despair were replaced by hope. I learned some powerful principles that I know I need to teach as a parent, as a wife, and as a professional. One of those principles is that God do

People have frequently ask me if I am feeling discouraged because of  Michael Ray 's stroke. It feels like a good day to share a bit of my world. The truth is that everyday I count my blessings , thank God for giving me strength and vision , and then I go to work. Life is good and I am blessed . I see miracles everyday. Last Saturday night I drove Mike and our son to their church meeting. I watched as my 14 year old son stood tall walking next to his father. I saw the miracle in each of Mi ke's steps. After the meeting I drove them to get a smoothie together. I stayed in the car so they could have time alone but, when I peeked in, I and them laughing and talking together. Another miracle. As a family we enjoy sunsets and rejoice in new days . We know that difficult moments pass and that kind words matter. We are learning life's lessons and striving to become a little better each day. We are blessed with incredible people in our lives who give us strength when we are weak.

    During the first week of August,  Mike went to an intensive Stroke Recovery Camp at the University of Utah Rehab Center. The "camp" was 6 hours a day; 5 days / week for 3 weeks.  Two of his goals were to walk consistently without the cane and increase his ability to use his right arm and hand.  From the minute we arrived at the camp, Mike was expected to use his right arm. When he gets out of the car, I put the strap to his lunchbox in his right hand and he holds it as he walks into the building. This may sound like a simple thing but it is HUGE. This morning Mike had trouble maintaing his grip on the strap and the lunchbox would fall to the ground. I would pick it up and put it back into his hand, reminding him to squeeze his fingers into a fist. After dropping the lunchbox four or five times, Mike said, "You just do it." Of course, you know my answer, " No Way!"  I told Mike, "I don't care how many times you drop it. I care how many times yo

         Today at church our friend, Jeff Hunsaker mentioned that he would be going to London on business next week. That brought a flood of memories and emotions because Jeff came to London on business about a week after Mike's stroke.   Jeff made the time to come out of his way to the hospital in High Wycombe to see us. The flood of emotions I felt as we talked today reminded me again how much that visit meant to both Mike and I. I wasn't sure how Mike would react to seeing someone from home but his entire countenance lit up as Jeff entered the room. Jeff talked with him without pity or simplicity but with normal conversation. Mike laughed and worked to speak and you helped him find the many missing words.      The visit was very important to me as well. While I had phone conversations and emails from people back home, it meant something different to have a visit - a real person in the room that somehow connected us to life back home. Jeff's reassurance that our family

This chair and I spent a lot of time together. Here I sat watching Mike while he slept. Here I sat as doctors and nurses continued treating him. Here sat when sleep finally came to my exhausted body. It was made of noisy purple vinyl but it was comfortable. Here I prayed for divine intervention and for the doctor's hands to be guided. Here I sought the comfort from the Spirit. Here I began planning how I would help Mike recover. 

      The Premier Inn only had a vacancy for one night and the other hotels near the hospital were also booked. I wasn't sure what Tenika and I would do. I called our home ward Bishop, Steven Weitzel, and asked for his help. He was able to reach the bishop from High Wycombe. It wasn't long before I received a phone call that Jo Barron, the Relief Society President in High Wycombe had offered for Tenika to stay in her home. She came to the hotel the next morning and took Tenika and most of our luggage to her home. Jo and her family were wonderful. I mostly stayed at the hospital with Mike but they picked me up and took me to their home so I could shower. They helped Tenika to feel comfortable and made sure that she made it to the airport to catch her flight home on August 12. The hospital did not have any internet access but the Barron's would let me use their international phone to call home and their internet to take care of everything else.         In the meantime, back

      Tenika and I sat in the waiting room at the hospital while doctors evaluated Mike. It was a small room with a bathroom. I don't know how long we waited but eventually the nurse came and said I could go see Mike. The doctor came in as well and told me that Mike had suffered a stroke that had affecters 25% of his brain. He was fully paralyzed on the right side of his body and could no longer speak. They were admitting him to an acute care unit in the hospital. From the waiting room at the hospital I phoned our friend, Kofi Bentil, who lived outside of London. He helped me to reach the local LDS missionaries who came and gave Mike a blessing. The elders also went to a nearby store and, using cash I had given them, they purchased a local phone for me to use.       Once Mike was stabilized on the acute unit at the hospital, Tenika and I found a bus to take us back to the hotel in Slough. She packed up our suitcases while I stayed in the lobby trying to find a hotel for us near th

        We spent 7 days enjoying the sites and history of London and planned to travel to Oxford on August 9, 2013 for a few days before our scheduled flight home. Mike hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days. He would go into the city with Tenika and I but he was sluggish and needed to sit and rest often. He insisted that he didn't need to go to the doctor. On August 8, we were in the hotel lobby talking with family and business colleagues back home via Skype. Mike said he was tired and headed to bed. I stayed in the lobby for a while longer talking with the kids. Mike was already in bed when I arrived back in our hotel room. It was nearly 2 a.m. so I quickly fell asleep.         I awoke the next morning because of a funny noise in the room. I opened my eyes to see Mike sitting on the bed leaning in a strange way to one side. He was making strange noises and a water bottle was spilled all over the bed. Mike had had high blood pressure for years so I immediately asked hi

Caught in a London downpour. Tenika and I climbed 528 steps (85 meters) to the Golden Gallery in St. Paul's Cathedral. The view of London was spectacular! London Bridge The home of William Shakespeare and the highlight of the trip for Tenika.

 When Tenika was nearing her high school graduation, Mike wanted to take her on a special trip. She chose England. We used some of our Wake Up Now luxury bonus dollars and Mike made reservations. I got busy planning all the sites to see: Windsor Castle, the Churchill War Room, London Bridge, the Tower of London, Stratford-Upon-Avon, and many more.

From the time they were little, Mike taught the children to have dreams and set goals.  He took the time to listen to their dreams and created special moments with each child. Mike sometimes even offered "reward" money when a child would accomplish or make significant  progress toward a goal Mike would praise his children to anyone who would listen. He loved to see them succeed.  He fostered a love of music and encouraged our children to share their talents.  He was always the loudest one in the stands cheering our children on.  We laughed together - A LOT!  Zip lines, roller coasters, adventures. Mike always jumped right in with the kids.

          Mike always lived in a vibrant way. He loved life and created dreams. He worked hard, very hard. He also played just as hard. Mike had always been an entrepreneur. He went to law school and passed the Utah Bar but opted to start his own business instead of practicing law. He found passion in helping others through the industry of network marketing. People said that this industry couldn't be built not he internet. Mike didn't worry too much about what they said. He just did it and coined the phrase "Putting the Net in Network Marketing." Now people can hardly imagine building a professional network without using the internet. Mike's business dealings took him all over the United States and all over the world. He traveled to Canada, South America, Southeast Asia, China, and Europe. His vision had no limit. Wherever he went, the people loved him because he first loved them. He learned about and respected their cultures.   

 Each of our children is unique. They came to our home in a variety of ways and each has brought us great joy. We laugh and cry together. We believe in each other and make room for mistakes. We help each other when we stumble. The family is ordained of God and he blesses our efforts to create faith centered homes.

     We were different in so many ways. I loved salads and low fat foods. Mike loved Southern cooking, fried foods and  barbecue.  I liked things to have order - files and bins. Mike was happy with things in piles. Mike LOVED football and I had little interest in the game. Mike was outgoing and the life of the party. He was happiest in the middle of everything. I was quieter and much more inclined to hang back and watch the party happen. Mike would lead the crowd and I would be the one who saw the people on the outskirts.      We were the same in a few things. We both believed in the inherent goodness of people and be both believed and trusted in God. We wanted to build a family based on these truths and we determined we would do it together.

The story begins here, at the Provo Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It was August 10, 2013.  Mike and I made promises that day, covenants with each other and with God. I knew I loved Mike but I had no idea how much love my heart could really hold. The union of marriage somehow takes two people and makes them "one" while allowing each to continue growing individually.